My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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