Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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