so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
