Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
