I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
