Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
