I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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