if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
