my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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