Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
