I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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