At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
