Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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