JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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