Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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