i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
