She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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