My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
