So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
