before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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