Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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