Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
