Your dad touched me again.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
