I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
