i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
