And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
