So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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