North Korea, Best Korea!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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