we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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