Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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