Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
