So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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