so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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