youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
