let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
