Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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