I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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