You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
