you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
