Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize