Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
