she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
