he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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