Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
