we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
