Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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