how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
