yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
