i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
