Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Are we still banned from the library?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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