True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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