I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
