Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
lol hangovers are for mortals.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
